The 5 people you meet at a college party, Part Trois…

You meet many people through out your life. Some impact you in big ways, while others may have a small impact. In many cases there are individuals who have impacted you that you never would have thought. Sounds a lot like that book doesn’t it? I can guarantee though that none of the people mentioned in this post will have any sort of impact. I give you the Five People You Meet at a College Party.

They’re totally in to me bra!

3. The Creeper – aka Creepy McCreeperson, aka That Creepy Guy. You’ve all seen this person before. They’re usually hovering close by at a party. Slightly swaying because they’ve had too many ice slides or Jager bombs. They quite possibly have a red ring around their mouth because they opted to drink Hunch Punch (ie a drink with enough alcohol to put down a rampaging wildebeest and enough sugar to mask it, made specifically for females) instead of something more manly like whiskey, tequila, or even beer.

Not only is the Creeper swaying, but he more than likely has that glazed over look in his eye. You know the look. Their eyes are half shut, or even half open if you prefer to be an optimist, but the look has that certain tell to everyone else that they have lost all capacity to adhere to or recognize social norms. Which to the normal person (ie someone a little more sober than the creeper) comes in very handy to let you know that the people you’re talking and more importantly the people you’re hitting on are not interested.

The Creeper is similar to the Stoic in the sense that you don’t know them very well. They could be an acquaintance, a fraternity brother, or even someone you have never met before. Where they differ from the Stoic, is that instead of spewing all sorts of information that no one cares for they tend to say very little, if not nothing at all. Instead the Creeper lurks. Much like a pedophile outside of a school. They hang around as though completely harmless and wait to make their move. It could be a friendly smile that invites them over or a any type of look that they deem as a “sign.” The fact remains they will more than likely move in to hang out with you.

At this point, if you’re a girl and at a party you’re probably a little inebriated yourself. You’re thinking it’s a party and people tend to be social to people they are unfamiliar with. Maybe you make small talk to be nice. Maybe you take a shot with them. Sure you’re being nice, but to the Creeper they may think you’re interested. And who knows, you might be. Alcohol does have a way with affecting your perceptions of reality.

Slowly the Creeper moves in for physical contact. They could put their arm over your shoulder. They could put their arm around your waist. Totally harmless advances, that could easily be shrugged off to signify that you weren’t interested. That is to normal people who aren’t nearly as drunk as the Creeper.

Now this next part is key to identifying a Creeper. It’s what you would call their signature move. Creepers will commonly transition from having their arm around a female to sliding their hand down into the victim’s back pocket. Much like a parasite the Creeper will latch on to its “victim.” It’s important to note that Creepers are about as dangerous as a paper cut. Sure they’re annoying, but truly offer no real threat.

Best method for escape is to just ignore them. Creepers by nature will make a few last ditch efforts to gain attention before finally either going off to get another drink or to search for another perspective mate.

Moral of the story? No means no here too.