The MMA promotion, Strikeforce is putting on a show this evening. With the main event including the sexy Gina Carano taking on the beastly Criastiane “Cyborg” Santos. Cyborg is the favorite and will most likely destroy Gina. This letter is my attempt to deter the cybernetic one from utterly demolishing the well polished face of one Ms. Gina Carano. This is obviously a matter of grave importance because I don’t usually post on the weekends. Posting on the weekends totally interferes with my drinking schedule.
Dear Cyborg,
Not to take anything away from you. You’re a dominant fighter. You’re extremely intimidating. You’re so scary in fact that the mere sight of you makes my penis actually crawl back inside of me. 
I’m not exaggerating. That poor thing will literally creep up inside me until I practically have a well formed vagina in between my legs.
But all unintentional gender reassignment aside please go easy on Gina Carano. She’s way to pretty to be taking any shots to the face that doesn’t come in the form of an ejaculation…
Not that beauty should determine the outcome of a MMA fight, but you wouldn’t take a sharpie to the Mona Lisa. Would you?
My suggestion? Do something less invasive and facially destroying, like maybe a rear naked choke. Those are equally as effective, doesn’t involve facial reconstruction, and sounds sexy enough that I might actually be able to reach climax while watching the fight as I get past the whole “you looking like a dude” thing.
Win, lose or draw you’re still one of the scariest fighters I’ve ever seen. But that may be attributed to the fact that you may or may not have a bigger penis than I do. Good luck and please try to leave the lovely Gina in a position that doesn’t leave her eating through a tube or using one of those creepy Stephen Hawkins voice boxes.
Love,
le gimp
PS When you and your husband have Shudders, throws up in mouth a bit sex, are you the bottom or is he? Or do you guys just take turns?
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juvenile idiot
Hey Eduardo, This isn’t MMAsterpiece theatre. Quit pretending that people are supposed to have some civility when talking about the monstrosity known as Cyborg. Your tea is getting cold douche.